Thursday, November 26, 2015

Child Sexual Abuse.


I have talked about child abuse before but didn't take it from this angle. Today, I am going to be very blunt and hard. 
Lately, there has been cases of child abuse at home especially from a father to her daughter. This came back to my mind when I watched Iyabo Ojo's "Silence". Tears rolled down my cheeks as I watched the movie. Yes, movies are meant to be make believe but trust me, there is sense in nonsense.
A lot of women are suffering from this dilemma, lots of young girls are also suffering from sexual abuse either from their fathers or uncles.  It becomes so hard to speak out, talk-less of calling for help simply because they are threatened. The amazing thing is that some mothers know about these cases but cannot do anything about it. My heart bleeds honestly.  I am not being emotional here, but the fact that I'm a woman who was once a girl made me pick my pen to write about this. Like I said earlier, we need women to speak up, we need organisations to come to the rescue of these helpless girls. 

As a matter of fact, sexual abuse can lead to the following:
Fear: Please note that coercion, bribery and threats usually accompany sexual abuse.Overwhelmingly, the child is afraid of  what the consequences might be. e.g. punishment, blame, not being believed and ultimate rejection or abandonment. 

Helplessness: Unfortunately, children in this state believe they don't have control over their lives and bodies. They become very helpless and emotionless, they loose trust in other people and  feel everyone in the world is wicked.  

Anger: They become angry at every little thing. They snap easily and slowly, low self esteem and value begin to creep in. They get angry at those people they feel should have protected them but did not or could not. 

Flashbacks: This happens in form of nightmares which occurs when the child is awake. These could be triggered by many things- smell, a phrase, mannerism or a particular place. 

As the child grows, the fear increases, and the anger gets worse and the flashback comes repeatedly. 

Then, depression, anxiety, low self esteem, social isolation, self destructive behaviors begin to set in. 

Let us all come out in any way and help these girls,  be it movie, literature, protest, symposium or seminars. All these must be put together to combat this disgraceful act. 

I acknowledge Iyabo Ojo for taking a bold step to speak about this in her make believe “Silence”. This is a step to tackling this issue. 

Remember, what is shared is half solved. God help us. 

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